Where I am now in 2023 and where I want to be in 2024.

Full disclosure, this is going to be a brain dump kinda article. 

I have so much information and so many thoughts bouncing around inside my head right now that I just want to get them all out so I can start to organize my brain.

While I can’t promise you that this article will follow any logical thoughts and processes, what I can promise you is that this is the truth. What you’re about to read is my reality right now. No Bullshit. Just facts.

Coming to grips with where I am right now in 2023 is hard. I’m still writing this paragraph because I am procrastinating looking at my current financials. I don’t want to do it. You can’t make me!

Why I am reluctantly digging into my financial situation is because I am not fucking around this year (and beyond). The main pain points in most people’s lives and I’m no different, are health, wealth, and relationships.

Guess what? 

I want to improve my life in ALL of these areas. 

My life is not where I want it to be at 40 years old. 

Here are the cold hard facts:

• I am 40 years old
• Separated from my common-law husband of eighteen years in October 2022
• Currently live with my parents with my three kids
• Working part-time
• Very little savings
• Overweight
• Wildly unhappy

So this is where I am right now.

This is where I want to be:

• Living in my own home with my kids
• Earning a full-time income online
• Generous savings and investing accounts
• Fit
• Happy
• Traveller

My goal this year is to put proper systems in place in my life that will help me get from where I am to where I want to be.

It’s nice to think that this will all happen in a year, but more than likely accomplishing my dreams is going to take longer than a calendar year.

The key is to create habits and systems in my everyday life that will bring me closer to my goals. 

There are a few measurable goals I am going to include for the year 2023 so that I can track my progress and make sure I am doing all that I need to do to accomplish my dream life. 

Health Goals for 2023

For 2023, I am throwing out the scale. Fuck that thing. It has brought me nothing but high highs and low lows. I’m done letting a fucking number decide my mood for the day. Fuck you, scale.

Instead, I am setting up some systems to help me reach my goal of being fit. I want to be fit as fuck.

What does this mean?

It means that whenever my kids want to play, I will say yes because I will have the energy to do so.

Do they want to try a new sport or some sort of adventure? Then I will be fit enough to participate and maybe even do well!

I want to be able to walk my dogs and not get out of breath or have to go slower because I am a big fat ass.

I want to be able to hike any trail that I want. No restrictions. 

How am I going to accomplish this goal?

Each day, I commit to:

1. Ten minutes of kettlebell or other strength training workout
2. Thirty minutes of outside activity
3. Eating a plant-based, whole-food diet. NO PROCESSED FOOD!

I think it is important to note here that I set these goals based on MY likes and what is most likely going to work for me.

I have been doing 10-minute kettlebell exercises almost daily since November and I still really like them, so keeping that up for the year should be pretty doable.

Also, I love exercising outdoors and my job right now is literally dog walking so getting out for thirty minutes daily is not a stretch for me. I do most days anyway.

I would never set a goal of walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes each day because I absolutely hate the treadmill and I would never do it. It would be setting myself up for failure.

Our goal is for success only. Do what you like to do.

As far as my diet is concerned, I already eat plant-based, but I eat junk food as well. The purpose of no processed foods is to rid me of the junk food that inhibits my weight loss and fitness goals on a regular basis. 

That being said, will this be easy? Fuck no. The first few days in particular are going to suck ass but I know I will feel better in the long run, so I’m going to have to get uncomfortable and get through the hard days knowing that good days are ahead.

Truthfully, it is January 3rd today, and I am just starting these goals. My original plan was to start on January 1st, but instead, I ate a bunch of cookies heading into January 2nd. 

So here we are, on January 3rd. I am so sick and tired of my ‘comfortable’ behaviour that has kept me in the same place in my life for far too long that I am finally ready to be done with this self-sabotaging bullshit forever. 

FUCK THIS SHIT!

I DESERVE MORE!

Wealth Goals in 2023

I am currently working a very part-time job as a dog walker. This is my own business and I absolutely love it, but I currently don’t make enough money to live off of.

Also, I would like to move away from an hourly job that I have to physically show up for each day to an online career which I can do independent of my location. 

Since my long-term goal is to basically be a vagabond traveler, I am committed to learning how to earn a great income online. 

This is what I want by 2024:

• Consistently earning $10,000 each and every month (various sources of income, not strictly online)
• Consistently earning a minimum of $5000 per month online
• +$10,000 in TFSA (Tax-Free Savings Account)

How am I going to accomplish this in 2023?

I’m going to work fucking hard to increase my income each month.

Activities to help increase my income include:

• Increase dog-walking clients
• Learn and apply affiliate marketing practices
• Minimize spending
• Door Dash

Don’t get me wrong, I have realistic expectations. I know it is fully possible that I will not hit my ambitious financial goals in one year. What I want is to see improvements from one month to the next. I want to be heading full steam toward my goal by the end of 2023.

Sounds like I’m a fucking idiot for attempting to do all of this at once, maybe I am, but I am so sick and tired of my current life that I am done dipping my toe into self-improvement habits. I’m ready to dive in and change many areas of my life at once.

Relationship Goals for 2023

I almost forgot that one last area in my life that is really sucking-ass right now is my relationships. Particularly with my (ex) partner of 18 years. We separated in October of 2022 and things are not going very well at the time that I am writing this.

I’m not going to go into too much detail in this article about my relationship with my ex because it’s still pretty fresh and I have a therapy appointment tomorrow that will hopefully help me sort through all of the feels I am feeling right now.

Instead, I am going to concentrate on my relationship with my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a bad relationship with any of them but I would like a stronger one with all of them.

How will I improve my relationship with my kids in 2023?

Here are a few ways I hope to improve our relationship:

• I am going to practice patience
• Truly listen when they are speaking and not just jump to conclusions about what I think happened
• More one on one activities- aiming for one kid a week
• Take interest in a hobby they have so we can do it together
• Be happy, be present, have fun, and try to enjoy the moment instead of thinking about how much cleaning will need to be done after

I’m not naive and I know that building/fixing relationships take time. Change won’t happen overnight but I hope that by implementing these changes in my behaviour, I can build a strong and long-lasting bond with each of my kids.

If you have made it this far into the article, I want to thank you for letting me brain-dump with you. 

I have to think that if you made it to the end of this masterpiece, you are also struggling with certain, or all, aspects of your life.

Know this: You’re not alone. 

This is just the abbreviated version of my shit show of a life at 40 years old. Fucking pathetic, I know.

But guess what? 

It’s not too late.

It’s not too late to change your current situation into the life of your dreams.

I believe this with all of my being or I would just settle for the unhappy life that I have crafted already.

Fuck that. Don’t settle. Life is too short for that bullshit. You know it, I know it. 

We can be happy. Happy people do exist. I want to be one of those happy fuckers who genuinely enjoy their lives. 

Will it be easy? No. Transformation is not fucking easy.

Will it be worth it? Abso-fuckin-lutely.

Are you with me? Let’s change our fucking lives this year!

Let’s get reacquainted with that happy feeling we lost a long time ago.

Stop settling, and start fucking living!

Time to shit or get off the pot.

Keep going, keep going, keep going…

In the comments, name one thing that you can start doing RIGHT NOW to help better your current situation.

No judging! Just listening.

Update as of March 9, 2024

To put it nicely, I shit the bed in 2023.

I am still fat. Probably fatter than when I wrote this last year.

I did not reach any of my financial goals. 

My relationship with my kids is OK, but I can do better.

It goes to show you that a year can pass by in a blink of an eye.

I did not make a big enough effort to accomplish these goals, plain and simple. 

No excuses. I did not prioritze my goals. Instead I took the easy road and slipped into the comfort zone where everything stays the same and no progress is made.

I have made more goals in 2024, and am tracking them weekly to ensure that I am making progress. 

Honestly, I can do a better job still. I am no where near where I want to be in life and unless I make some drastic changes, I am going to remain stuck here forever.

And that can’t happen.

I will write a more detailed article on what I am doing currently, and when I do, I will link it here.